Love Truly Wins

Okay, I am one of those people, that when I think life is too much, I write. I write all the thoughts that are running through my head and all of the feelings that are running through my body. Well, just recently, I found a note that I didn’t have a chance to finish, but it’s something I want to share. 

“No one ever said that this would be fair. And trust me we all know how it is. But there are always days that makes it seem unbearable. There are days you will think that no one loves you, you aren’t important and that it would be better to just disappear. I promise I have those feelings all the time. It’s not fair. People tell you all the time that to be happy, to be truly and sincerely happy, you must be happy with yourself. But how can you? That’s just it, you can’t. You can’t when no one can prove to you that you’re as great of a person as they say you are.”

Yeah. I am sure that anyone can relate to having self-confidence issues. And if not, well then this is embarrassing and you probably should stop reading here. But what I’ve come to realize, that even though you will  have  those days where you hit rock bottom (or at least you think it’s rock bottom) and you think the entire world is against you where you think you have nothing going for you, there is one word that should always keep you going: LOVE. Love conquers all. Love is all around you. The love God has for you. The love others have for you. The love you have for others. And most importantly, the love you have for yourself. It’s hard to imagine how much love is in this world if you really think about it. 

More often than not, we focus too much on the hate in this world. We hate God for not giving us the things we ask for. I mean, he’s supposed to be a loving God, right? We hate others around us because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to them. Jealousy is one evilest thing in this world. We hate ourselves for not being where we planned to be. We don’t have the look, the wardrobe, or the personality that we want. See, so much hate. 

Now all of the hate in this world, how much can you control? The hate you have for God. Well, that means you are selfish, impatient, and really just need to take a chill pill. The thing you want to happen right now, at this moment, can honestly wait. One of my favorite quotes I found on Pinterest says, “You can’t rush something you want to last forever.” (Yes, I am one of those that quote a quote on Pinterest) Always keep that quote in the back of your mind when you need something now. The hate you have for others. First rule to keep in mind is that you can never change a person. Never. No matter how hard you try. When it comes to hating others, ask yourself why? If the answer is jealous, please just stop there. Step back and realize that your life is just as great. The thing about life, it is just measured in different ways. So yes, so and so may be skinnier than you, have more of an outgoing and flirty personality, and have everything you want in yourself. You call it perfection. Perfection. Perfection can be a taunting word. Now there is perfection in you too. And with perfection comes love, and with that comes loving yourself. I think it’s one of the hardest things to do in life. Now loving yourself is something that is not expected of you every day. That’s impossible. But learn to love yourself. 

Love yourself. It is something that haunts me daily. It’s all about learning to love who you are. Learning to love your body as it’s the first thing people see. As much as I hate to say it, we are a society that judges a book by its cover. We all know we’re guilty of it. Your body is the cover that everyone sees. Make that cover one to be remembered, one to be proud of, one that you love. With loving your body comes loving your insecurities. For me, I hate the way my hands make a V no matter how hard I try to close that gap. I hate the way a vein pops out of my head when I laugh too hard. I have all the stupid and rude comments from people who are too ignorant to realize what they’re saying. There’s the hate word again. But you know what? Insecurities are something you cannot change. Not. A. Single. One. So where do you go from here? Love. Love your insecurities. Embrace them. Own them. Your insecurities are those little things that make you, you. 

Trust me, I’m not all high and mighty in telling you all of this is easy to do. As you can tell from the beginning, I still have to learn to love a few more things. But I took the first step in trying and I hope you do too. Pain, sadness, heartbreak is something everyone deals with. It is not just you and thinking that the world is being cruel against you. So what is really important is that to know it is okay to fall, to cry, and think your world is coming to an end. What truly defines you is how you pick up the pieces after that. Something my uncle once told me, “There is no such thing as a bad day. You just have a little bad in every good day.” The same holds true with life. Remember that. 

Love. Love. Love. Love is what makes the world go round. Love makes every memory a little bit sweeter. Love makes every relationship that much stronger. Love is how you make a life. Love truly wins.

Dwarfism Awareness 101

I'm sure that all of you are aware that October is Dwarfism Awareness Month, and if not, then you have not been reading my Facebook posts. But it is Dwarfism Awareness Month and it is definitely one of my favorite months of the year. It's a time to educate. To share. To embrace the beauty of everyone's differences. To show that we should not be hindered by our differences. To stress that we are people too, just a little smaller.


It's time to educate. Let's begin our lesson with everything that you probably should not call me or really anyone with dwarfism. Midget is a big no no. Midget is a word that was used a while back and used to describe the people in a freak show. We're not freaks, I can promise you that. This word is highly offensive to all little people, and if used, we will not be very patient or polite with you. You can't say I didn't warn you. Outside of midget, little girl, small fry, shrimp, and so many other names, are names that you should stray away from. If you would like to be politically correct, I am a dwarf which is also known as a little person. And this may be just me, but I don't like those terms either because I would prefer not to be defined by my size. The one thing you should call me and every other person is by their name. I have no problem answering to that.


Many people are simply unaware what dwarfism is, and it's basically someone of short stature or in another terms someone who is around four foot ten or shorter. It's not a disease. There is no cure, because nothing is really wrong with us. There are over 200 types of dwarfism, so please never ask me to list them all. It's impossible. I think I can only list two successfully. Achondroplasia is the most common type of dwarfism and is the type that me and my parents both have. Basically, that type of dwarfism means my arms and legs didn't fully grow all the way. We can also experience complications by having a shunt placed in our head. Now a shunt is a device (I have no clue what it looks like) installed in my head that helps drain the fluid from my head to my stomach. We can also have a complication with our bowed legs. If we keep the bowed legs, it can cause problems down the line such as arthritis or hip problems. But on the other hand, surgery to fix the bowed legs involves physically breaking your legs and being in a wheel chair for around four months. Now each type of dwarfism comes with its own complications. So what I've learned is that no story is ever the same.


Now here's a question that I am constantly asked, how is my brother six foot five when both of my parents, myself included, are under five foot? I love that question. It's my favorite.Well, it all depended on the traits that were passed down from my parents. To break it down, my parents had a 25% chance that their child would be average height (or above average height like my 6' 5" brother), a 50% chance that their child would have dwarfism (LIKE ME!) and another 25% chance that the child would have a double dominant gene. Now a double dominant gene means that both parents would have passed the dwarfism gene. A baby born with the double dominant gene will usually not live past the age of one.


As a little person, you may be able to tell that the world was not made for me. Almost everything is out of my reach and I really can't help it. It's safe to say that I own several stools and those definitely lend a  big hand. I also have these things called pedal extensions to help me drive. These attach to the top of the pedals and make the pedals a little longer. The best part about these pedals is that it allows every other average height person to drive my car with no problems. But to give you a little view of how my life may be a little different from yours, check out this list:

1. Public sinks. Yes, even the handicapped ones. My reach is very short, as my arms don't straighten.
2.  Light switches in old houses.
3. Credit card parking meters. Can't see the numbers, so I have no idea what I've paid for. Eeek!
4. Credit card readers at many gas stations. I have to climb on the curby part, which is probably not so safe in the ice, but I do it anyway. I have a special trick for getting the stupid card in and out quickly. What a pain!
5. Most anything I actually WANT in the grocery store. I'm good at knocking things off the shelf. Haven't been hit in the head by a can yet!
6. Lids, straws, condiments, plasticware etc. Yep, I'm not getting those.
7. Most buffet-style food. By the way, the sneeze guard wouldn't keep out my sneeze. Just sayin'.
8. High barista counters at cafes. Sometimes, they plain just don't see me and I have to get their attention.
9. Deli counters, or anything behind glass like that. I can't hear them, and they can't hear me.
10. Bar-type stools. Any time a server leads me to one of those high tables, I laugh.
11. Self check-out screens at the supermarket. I can scan things, but good luck if I make a mistake or like to pay.
12. Any sort of paper (advertisement or ticket) left on my windshield. Hey, at least I could say I couldn't reach it and the ticket blew off on the way home.
13. Basically anything taller than 4', which is a lot of things in this world. 

Clothing sometimes can be a big problem. As much as I wish there would be a little person clothing store, there isn't - not yet anyways. Shirts are okay 98% of the time, I just usually have to roll up the sleeves. But pants, they definitely have to be hemmed. But show wise, yes, that's the most difficult to shop for. I will always be searching in the kids department. Why sometimes it's a blessing as they are pretty cheap (I just bought a pair of combat boots for less than $30), but it's also a curse. I don't know if you've ever looked in the little kids shoe department, but they love velcro, glitter, and everything little kids would love, not nineteen year olds.


Now to move onto the questions that some people may be too afraid to ask. Dating is the big one. And it usually starts off with, "Now don't be offended..." Please never start with this. If you're asking a question, I know you're not trying to offend me. But this is a topic that may be a little sticky for some people. Who are you more interested in, an average person or a little person? I really never know how to answer this question. But my answer is usually an average height person. I mean, that's who I'm always around and do pretty much everything with. Don't get me wrong, I would love to date a little person, it's just hard as they're not right next door. But something I want everyone to understand, a little person doesn't have to go with a little person. And if an average height person is dating a little person, it's perfectly normal. They should not be considered a saint because they have to deal with the stares, comments, and questions that ignorant people choose to ask. As you can tell, I'm pretty passionate about this topic. I just want to throw out all of the stereotypes that are associated with dwarfism. But like I said, I'm not here to criticize, just to set the records straight.


I hope you all know that I would not be able to say all of this without all of your love and support. It's easy to lead an army but it's even easier to lead an army with a support system behind you. The name calling, the stares, the laughs are all temporary, and it's completely out of my control. But you guys aren't. You're here to laugh with me, help me turn all the stares, comments, and name calling into jokes. I wouldn't be able to do it without you. So just know, that you're important too.


Now I encourage all of you to help spread awareness of dwarfism. Wear green. Buy a bracelet. Odds are that if you found something interesting in this, someone else will too. Share it with them. The whole idea of spreading awareness is to educate those who are not.

Imperfections

Well, let's begin with the definition of imperfection. Imperfection is the quality or condition of being imperfect. Now I can't stand when part of the word is in the definition, so let's dig a little deeper. Imperfect is characterized by defects or weaknesses; not perfect; lacking completeness.

So now I ask you to picture your definition of perfection. Whether it be the perfect place to go on vacation, such as the Caribbean where I picture crystal clear blue water with white sand and palm trees all around. Or maybe you picture the perfect day, which for me would be a day in the fall where there is not a green leaf in sight and all you need is a sweatshirt to keep you comfortable. Or something that I often picture is my future life with a child that I will hopefully one day hold. 

But if you really think about it, perfect is overrated where nothing is really perfect. That place in the Caribbean that I only dream about going to has its own flaws. Maybe, knowing my luck, all it does is rain on the day I wanted to spend at the beach. Or what about all the sand that can find its way into uncomfortable places. Now that perfect day could be a day where the sun doesn't even bother poking through the clouds. It could also be a day where mother nature decides to do something crazy, like snow in October - and after this winter, we all know that could be a possibility. And then finally, the perfect life with the perfect child. 

I always find myself picturing how I want the future to look for me. I find myself living in a house that's a little smaller than a mansion - I mean I can dream right? In this life, I never have to go to work because I started so many different businesses where I can do everything from my house. Then I have three children, one average height and two dwarfs, running around the house doing what kids do. Yes, I have everything planned to the last detail in my perfect life.

Now some would say that somethings about me aren't close to perfect, because, you know, I'm short. And more chances than not, my kids will be too. Sadly, they have to live in a world where they will be judged based solely on their height. Laughs, stares, and name calling will be nothing out of the ordinary for them. I'm here to say that it's true, I'm not anywhere near perfect, but I'm also not anywhere close to being imperfect either. It's time that people start understanding that one simple sentence.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

You're never going to guess what I'm about to say, because I still can't believe I can say it. I'm done with my first year of college. Yeah, I just said that. Trust me, I am just as shocked as you are. It seems like just yesterday I was moving in on August 14th wondering what I was getting myself into. Now it's move out time where I'm packing everything I just unpacked. I'm saying good-bye to all of my friends I just met. I'm closing the door for the last time to room 618.

When I came to college, I was just like every other freshman ready to get out of the house. It wasn't until I arrived when I realized how I wasn't ready at all. I left my comfort zone of Seymour where I spent 19 years with a town of people I loved. I ventured out to Indianapolis which was the last place I thought I would end up. Honestly, I never thought about applying to IUPUI, but that's why every memory here is that much sweeter. Every memory I make here is a memory that could have been different if I would have chosen to go to Ball State or Bellarmine. Now I'm not saying that I wouldn't make great memories other places, but I wouldn't trade mine for anything.

As I am looking back on the past eight months, everything's different. I made one of the best decisions ever when I joined the professional business fraternity of Delta Sigma Pi. Joining this fraternity was a complete rash decision and I wasn't sure if I would even like it. But now, I can't even imagine my life without it. I've made some of my greatest friends along with being elected as the new VPPE (code for Vice-President of Pledge Education). Then, I have KIC (Kelley Indianapolis Cares) and KSBISG (Kelley School of Business of Indianapolis Student Government) to worry about too. So I'm pretty sure I will have plenty of items to keep me busy next year.

Now let's not forget to mention I traveled to London and Paris. I'm honestly still in awe about it. I have only dreamed about going abroad and I would have never thought I would have accomplished this in my freshman year. I can now say that I have seen Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, and the Eiffel Tower. But outside of the sites, I experienced other people's way of life. The way they talked, walked, and lived. Trust me, every one of those is different than how we do it back here in the States. Now I have my eyes set on other countries that I hope to travel to soon. And hopefully, it is sooner rather than later.

But the best part about it all, I was able to experience all of this with my friends. So I owe a big thank you to everyone who has made this first year great.

Life really does fly by. I've learned to live in every moment. Don't look at the mistakes you made yesterday or wait for what tomorrow will bring. Take every chance that you get and don't let it pass you. Every person that you meet will shape you into the person that you will one day become. Treasure every close friendship that you do make. Grab every opportunity that you can to become involved in the college life. So that's a wrap for freshman year.

Oh the Places You'll Go (Europe Version)

The London Eye. Notre Dame Cathedral. Big Ben. Now what do all of these have in common? They are all checked off my bucket list on sites to see as I just returned from a study abroad trip in London and Paris. Visiting these two cities was a great opportunity offered by IUPUI that allowed me to see other parts of the world, and I'm here to tell you all about them.

Now I would love to tell you  every minute of every hour of every day, but then this would be a never ending blog post. But to give you an idea of what we did, we did what almost any tourist would do, and that is visit all of the famous tourist sites. The London Eye gave us a preview of what we would be seeing that week. Then of course we had to go see the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace and the absolutely breathtaking Windsor Castle where the queen was actually walking somewhere throughout the castle while we were. Along the way, we were able to see the famous telephone booths and double-decker buses that some of us only dream of seeing. Finally, what we were really there for, were the two different business institutions. While I was only able to go to Student Upstarts, it was still awesome to see their perspective on how business is conducted in London. A little background on Student Upstarts is that they give student loans to up and coming entrepreneurs. But while we were there, they gave us tips on how their culture is different from the States.

Now the reason I wasn't able to go to Lloyd's, which was our second business visit, was because of messed up schedules. Instead, I went to the Harry Potter tour and all I have to say is wow. In London, our tour guide, British Eric, would point out different sites where Harry Potter was filmed such as Diagon Alley and Millenium Bridge which in case you don't know is in the Half-Blood Prince. And guess what, I stood in the Great Hall. Yes! We opened the golden doors and surprisingly, it's not as big as you would think. Then we walked into what was pretty much a warehouse of everything you could imagine of Harry Potter. Dumbledore's Office, the Gryffindor Commonroom, and the Weasley House.It's all there. Once we walked outside, we saw the chess pieces in the Sorcerer's Stone - the Philosopher's Stone as the English know it - and the flying car. Oh, and if you ever get the chance to try butterbeer, make sure it's cold. If you ever make it to London, make sure that this is on one of your sites to see.

Now if you couldn't tell, I absolutely love London. I love their accents. I know we all wish deep down that we could have one, or at least I do. I spent that week trying to master it. I love their different language. Yes, they speak English, but they use different words than us Americans. For example, do not ask them where the bathroom is, they will stare at you wondering what you are talking about. Instead, you simply ask them where the toilets are. Then, they have give way which means yield and a lift which is another word for an elevator. Finally, I love how the city of London never sleeps. People are always on the move and not in the mood for small talk. Especially in Piccadilly Circus, which is the Times Square of London, there are lights, people, and action everywhere. I love it. 

Now the day we had to leave London was definitely a sad day. But I was in no way ready to go home, so I was happy that for some of us, our trip continued. Thursday morning a group of us hopped on a train where we traveled to Paris, France. And again, we were just like any other tourist visiting sites that I only dream of seeing. The Eiffel Tower, the Mona Lisa, the Lovelock Bridge, the Notre Dame Cathedral. All of them are checked off my list. Now I'm going to be honest in saying that Paris was not my favorite spot in the world. Don't get me wrong, there are so many different and wonderful sites to see, but it was definitely a good thing that Paris was only a two day stop.

Well that's it. There is a very short summary of my study abroad spring break trip of  2014. I hope you were able to get some sort of feel of all the wonderful things I was able to see. I would never trade any of it. The friendships, the memories, and the beauty of another part of the world. I hope you all get the chance to travel to London one day, because I know, I'll be going again.

I'm Going Places and You Can Too

Well, it's been about three months since I've written my last blog post. I apologize for that. Hopefully, I remember how to do this. But today was a great day. You know why? I realized I'm going places. It may sound dumb that I'm saying this, but I plan to go far in this wold.

Like I said, why is it taking me this long to figure this out, I don't know. I guess it takes me a while to figure out a lot of things. But it all started with Leslie Spencer's blog post about Hollywood mainly on a fairly new movie, The Wolf of Wall Street. Today our world revolves around entertainment. It doesn't matter whether it degrades others, as long as it makes someone smile, it's all good. It was after reading this post that I realize how I want to change all of the negative connotations on dwarfism. I want to toss them all out the door and make everyone forget. This may not make sense now, but just keep reading.

For the Wolf of Wall Street to make the dwarf tossing scene, they found a dwarf who was willing to participate in this. Yes, the Wolf of Wall Street is to blame for coming up with this scene, but they aren't the only one. I keep coming back to the question why? Why must this dwarf accept this role and degrade himself as well as the entire dwarf community. The same goes for the performer with Miley Cyrus at the MTV Awards Show and all the other roles out there that I can't even begin to name or else we'll be here all night. But what I want to ask, was it for the money? Or the few minutes of fame? Your actions don't affect just you, they affect all of the dwarf supporters that you have behind you.

Every year, we continue to spread awareness of dwarfism. We tell you we want equality and be treated as equals. We tell you how much of a blessing it is. But if we continue to accept these degrading roles and tell society that we are fine with being treated this way, then what's the point of continuing to try and put an end to it? What's the point of spreading the beauty of dwarfism when we keep accepting these types of roles that are contradicting everything we stand for? Because in case you didn't know, media will continue to highlight us making these types of decisions. I don't know about you, but I would much rather them highlight how successful we are becoming. For instance, Jen on the Little Couple, who is a doctor. Or another famous television show, Little People Big World. Or what about The Little Chocolatiers who started their own business. Or even better, well-known actors like Marty Klebba or Peter Dinklage. They deal with show business constantly yet continue to stand up for dwarfism.

Now this post may not sound something that I would usually write, but I think it needs to be addressed. And I'm also sorry if this post offended you, and I have a feeling it will to some. This is something that needed to be addressed a while ago, and it's my turn to take a stand. Your decision will affect your future, and I know my future is looking bright. And you know what? Yours can too.

Looking from a New Perspective

Coming to accept myself. This has been my battle.Over these past few days, I have finally realized why God made me as a dwarf.  This post is for me, but of course you all are free to read it! This post is where I can come back to remind me how blessed I truly am being a dwarf; to not look at it as a disadvantage but as a blessing from God. 

People ask me if I'm happy with being short. And for a while, I honestly was not. I always hated being stared at, being pointed out in the crowd, and being laughed at. I questioned God wondering why he made this way. And there would be times where I would become angry with God thinking I was a mistake. For some time, I wanted everyone to feel pity for me. Because I was short, and lived with so many difficulties, I wanted people to feel sorry for me that I lived the life that I did. Then I grew out of that stage and felt offended when anyone made a comment about me, whether it was a compliment or insult. But coming to college, I am finally content, not just content but happy, that I am different.

Now you may ask what happened? Why is it all of a sudden that this just dawned on me? I honestly cannot say, but I am so glad that it did. 

Our chapter just recently had our Christmas party where I was fortunate enough to spend the whole day with Finley and Melissa. Precious, beautiful, and a little ball of sunshine are just the beginning when describing Finley. But if you know Finley, it takes her a while to warm up to you, it definitely does not just happen in a day. Two weeks before that, I went on a lunch date with Lilah and Leslie. We did a little bit of shopping then finished off with fried chicken. After lunch, Leslie handed Lilah off to me and I was a little nervous-Lilah usually doesn't let me hold her for a long period of time. But minutes kept ticking by and she didn't even begin to fuss. Watching Lilah and Finley grow up are only the beginning why I love being me.

Now what do these two people have to do with me? These are the questions I have begun to ask myself. What if I was never a dwarf, would I still have those types of moments? Would I enjoy going to LPA meetings with my mom? Would I want to spend my days with Lilah and Finley?

It's because of my dwarfism that I have been fortunate enough to develop these relationships with those two darling girls. And not just them but with their families. I am able to have two types of friends. Of course, dwarf friends, who are able to share my experiences with me. But then I obviously have taller friends who are always there to defend me when someone is making a spectacle of me. I am open to a whole new world that others are not fortunate enough to experience. And I would not want to have it any other way.