Looking from a New Perspective

Coming to accept myself. This has been my battle.Over these past few days, I have finally realized why God made me as a dwarf.  This post is for me, but of course you all are free to read it! This post is where I can come back to remind me how blessed I truly am being a dwarf; to not look at it as a disadvantage but as a blessing from God. 

People ask me if I'm happy with being short. And for a while, I honestly was not. I always hated being stared at, being pointed out in the crowd, and being laughed at. I questioned God wondering why he made this way. And there would be times where I would become angry with God thinking I was a mistake. For some time, I wanted everyone to feel pity for me. Because I was short, and lived with so many difficulties, I wanted people to feel sorry for me that I lived the life that I did. Then I grew out of that stage and felt offended when anyone made a comment about me, whether it was a compliment or insult. But coming to college, I am finally content, not just content but happy, that I am different.

Now you may ask what happened? Why is it all of a sudden that this just dawned on me? I honestly cannot say, but I am so glad that it did. 

Our chapter just recently had our Christmas party where I was fortunate enough to spend the whole day with Finley and Melissa. Precious, beautiful, and a little ball of sunshine are just the beginning when describing Finley. But if you know Finley, it takes her a while to warm up to you, it definitely does not just happen in a day. Two weeks before that, I went on a lunch date with Lilah and Leslie. We did a little bit of shopping then finished off with fried chicken. After lunch, Leslie handed Lilah off to me and I was a little nervous-Lilah usually doesn't let me hold her for a long period of time. But minutes kept ticking by and she didn't even begin to fuss. Watching Lilah and Finley grow up are only the beginning why I love being me.

Now what do these two people have to do with me? These are the questions I have begun to ask myself. What if I was never a dwarf, would I still have those types of moments? Would I enjoy going to LPA meetings with my mom? Would I want to spend my days with Lilah and Finley?

It's because of my dwarfism that I have been fortunate enough to develop these relationships with those two darling girls. And not just them but with their families. I am able to have two types of friends. Of course, dwarf friends, who are able to share my experiences with me. But then I obviously have taller friends who are always there to defend me when someone is making a spectacle of me. I am open to a whole new world that others are not fortunate enough to experience. And I would not want to have it any other way.